Life is Funny

No one is always right.

So please stop referring to the phrase “The customer is always right”. We are plagued with this stupid marketing slogan that was used back in 1909 from Harry Gordon Selfridge as part of his marketing campaign.

Enough already.

It’s obvious that there are some really stupid customers out there. There is even more greedy shady people, posing as customers who deliberately try to get what they are not entitled to, meanwhile the rest of us pay for it in our normal prices.  For example, a customer complains his meal wasn’t hot enough, goes back into the fast food restaurant and walks out with an extra free food item. Yes, that item was free to the customer who was actually just trying to get a freebie, but the rest of us pay for it the next time we order something because the cost gets factored back in…

The customer is always right, just leads to abuse by customers. It happens everyday. Customers cannot be trusted. Have you ever had a legitimate complaint about some product or service, and when you bring it to a staff members attention, they kind of look at you sidewise with one eye open larger, thinking “yeaahhh right…”. As soon as you begin talking, they are already discounting everything you say in their mind, because they’ve met the scammer customer before, and they think you might be one of them too.

Customers ruin it for other customers. So how can we possibly say that the customer is always right?

Here’s my complaint. I can’t stop hearing that phrase from people. It’s everywhere and used to this day. But this is exactly happens to these cliche phrases, THEY NEVER DIE.

This is why I can’t put all my eggs in one basket.  (I don’t keep eggs in baskets at all, I use egg cartons)

It’s why whats good for my goose, is good for the gander. (I don’t have a goose, don’t want one, and I could careless what is good for a gander of geese).

Let’s start inventing some *NEW* fresh cliche phrases, shall we? Help me think of some!

How about…

“Run a Google search, find a spammer. Run several searches, find even more spammers“  … hmm sounds dumb right? Well so does “The customer is always right” so if you can accept that cliche, you should be able to be happy with mine.

Do you see my point? Cliche phrases really aren’t all that useful.  If you pick them apart and analyse them, they really hold us back from using our heads to think about situations.

The fact that an “apple does not fall far from the tree” does not mean that because your weird uncle is in jail, that the rest of you are prone to being in jail too. An apple and a tree, have nothing to do with a weird uncle and yourself. Do you see the point?

 I bet you could write an entire story with cliches… Would make a good school project.

My uncle was in a store trying to return something he stole for cash. He told the cashier that the customer is always right, and he demanded a refund. The cashier looked at him, and said sorry sir, but you appear to be a little wet behind the ears, we saw you steal that item on our security camera.

My uncle looked at her and said “you’re not going to hang me out to dry” are you?

She said, sir, “your ass is grass” and “you’re all washed up“, I’m sorry but “your name is mud”. I’m calling security.

He replied, look, “i’m hungry as a horse“. I know “you have an axe to grind“  with me, but would you please let me off of this one?

She looked at him sternly and said ok, I’m going to “hold out the olive branch” for you and “I’m going to let this slide.” Just be very careful to “not look a gift horse in the mouth” ok?

My uncle just smiled, and that’s the end of the story.

Now, if I did it right, the story was suppose to sound dumb and stupid. This happened because of the heavy use of old stale cliche phrases. I tried to make my point, and if I didn’t…

“Oh well shit happens.”

Here’s a dumb cliche for you.. “Everything happens for a reason.”

I say, “so? Your point is??” Usually the response is:

“Well it was obviously meant to be”

“It’s God’s will”

“God works in mysterious ways”

Now in this blog entry, I’m not attacking religion. What I am doing is pointing out how stupid cliche phrases really don’t carry much weight behind them. Why do we use them and depend on them so much?

Let’s look at some scenarios, and possible theories as to why it was “meant to be” or “God’s will”, or why “God is working in mysterious ways”.

Example #1: You are walking through the house and accidentally stub your toe into a coffee table leg.

Example #1 Reason: Stubbing your toe happened for a reason. Well yes, it did. You were clumsy and weren’t paying attention.

Example #1 God’s Involvement: It was God’s will that you stubbed your toe. He works in mysterious ways. Well that sounds bizarre. I can’t think of any possible reason why God would purposely setup events for you to stub your toe.

Maybe we need to add some descriptive language for these stupid cliche phrases to have them make more sense..

Let’s leave the correct phrase “everything happens for a reason” alone, because in some microscopic or technical way, yes, everything does happen for a reason. (Even “nothing” happens for a reason)

BUT!

Let’s change these:

“It was obviously meant to be” TO “Some things are meant to be”

“It was God’s will” TO “It may have been God’s will.”

“God works in mysterious ways” TO “We have no idea what God wants or what he does”

—————–

So this way, the next time something happens of significant value, where these cliche phrases come into play (other than stubbing your toe), it will sound like this:

Your uncle dies…

Someone comes up to you says “Sorry for your loss, everything happens for a reason”

You say “I know, his health gave out, but why him?”

To which they say “Some things were meant to be”

You say “I know, but was this one of them? Perhaps he was just old and sick”

To which they say “It may have been God’s will”

You say “Maybe, I guess we really won’t know if God wanted this, or if it was just a physical limitation of our natural cycle as human beings”

To which they say “We have no idea what God wants or what he does”

You say “that’s right. So can we stop with the stupid cliche phrases and just deal with the fact that my sick elderly uncle died, and anything you say won’t change it? You can give theories and hypothesis all day long about why it happened — the fact is that it happened, and cliche phrases don’t solve anything.”

Why do people feel that stupid cliche phrases fix things? They don’t. They are wasted breath and carry little value.

Let’s just stop using them. Why carry them through generation to generation? Some of these exist the same way dumb internet chain emails recirculate for years and years..

It’s not a bad thing to take a moment, look at ourselves and realize HOW LIFE IS FUNNY and how stupid we are for participating in the same thing that everyone else falls victim to..

Stop stupid cliche phrases! They are just a waste of time.

So the next time someone says “Everything happens for a reason“, return the comment “You’re right, and stating the obvious helps whom?”

BTW, it may seem that writing this blog entry I’m over exaggerating, or stretching the concept too much to prove a point. The reality is, that I’m addressing a significant problem with stupid cliche phrases that are used everyday, by hundreds of thousands of people, and very little thought is given to it.

Then again, maybe I did this because:

1. Everything happens for a reason

2. It was obviously meant to be

3. It is God’s will

4. God works in mysterious ways.

AHA! GOTCHA!